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20 for 2020 Check In

7/23/2020

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We are more than half-way through 2020. Hard to believe? Easy to believe? In any case, it feels like an unbelievable year so far. Whether I’m supposed to express it or not, I have COVID guilt, white guilt, mom guilt, all the guilt. So, I am particularly nervous to review my 20 fo 2020 list because I’m pretty sure it’s going to stir up some more guilt. But, here it goes for the sake of personal accountability!

What’s 20 for 2020? Read the introductory post here.
20 for 2020 Check In
  1. Improve on minimizing food waste by simplifying food storage and refrigerator organization
    Ongoing! Our fridge organization is still going, I’ve revamped our dry food storage, and I am continuing to look for the best reusable food storage bags that a frugal lady can find.
  2. Improve pancake making abilities
    I got this spatula that is the size of my head for Christmas and it has made all the difference in the world. 
  3. Make cardamom bread
    The ultimate quarantine activity, but somehow, not done…?
  4. Make recipe index with friends
    See # 3, face palm.
  5. Make graphic lists for kitchen and family inspiration (brainless crowd pleasers / boredom solvers)
    I’ve got some ideas for these and think we will make this happen soon!
  6. Make a postpartum family exercise plan
    Lack of daytime childcare has made this tough, but luckily Luke likes to be pushed on the swing for 20+ minutes everyday -- my arms are looking good!
  7. Complete a scripture journal
    Working on it, but lapsed many weeks; so, I need to find a way to build this into my days.
  8. Take new family portrait
    Coming this fall!
  9. Make travel-ready toiletry kits
    Feels unimportant since we aren’t doing much traveling.
  10. Toilet train Luke
    Not happening and that’s ok!
  11. Organize baby gear for consignment, donation, family, and visitors as JJ outgrows
    We’ve been great about this one and can’t wait to offload some fall/winter clothes as soon as our consignment shop begins accepting them next week. If you are local, I highly recommend Bears Repeating in Trexlertown!
  12. Go to the hot air balloon festival
    Rescheduled from July to October -- fingers crossed!
  13. Make 20 new meals
    We have adopted vegetarianism at home which has made trying new recipes a must. We have 14 in the bag already!
  14. Host 3 playgroups or meetups
    COVID is making this tricky, but I did organize an extended family catch up on Zoom that I’m counting toward this goal.
  15. Print new photos quarterly
    1 out of 3 so far and this really does bring joy to both Luke and Michael; so, I need to round the year out strong.
  16. Make a seasonal bulletin board and update quarterly
    Been keeping up with this one and loving it.
  17. Post to blog monthly
    This post will make 7 for 7!
  18. Play boards games twice per month
    Not been great about this. After two little people are finally asleep, I just can’t get in game mindset. We certainly miss being able to play with friends as well.
  19. Keep dresser top clean daily
    Uhhh, nope. I think I need to accept that this in not a true priority to me.
  20. Read for 20 minutes daily
    I should have no excuses here since I breastfeed all day long seemingly, but the pull of Facebook Marketplace is strong.

​I get easily get discouraged by this list or find ways to accept and add to it to make 2020 feel successful. So, let’s go with the latter. I’m certainly trying to prioritize educating myself on and practicing anti-racism. Welcome 21 for 2020.

    21. Make anti-racism practices a priority in everyday life
​
We’ve added Black toys and BIPOC books to our collection to diversify our play space. Some additional titles (see previous post for other recommendations) we’ve been enjoying include:
The Word Collector
The Word Collector 
​by Peter H. Reynolds
Jabari Jumps
Jabari Jumps 
​by Gaia Cornwall
You Matter
You Matter 
​by Christian Robinson
I am slowly and carefully making my way through Raising White Kids, Bringing Up Children in a Racially Unjust America by Jennifer Harvey. Plus, I’ve really diversified my social media feeds with the intent to be thinking about differences and finding ways to monetarily support BIPOC businesses. And I am writing letters for Vote Forward, which is a long game play to increase voter-ship and hopefully get more folks in office that take anti-racism seriously in their legislative agenda. 

​
I recognize that I need to do more in the world on this front and continue to be intimidated to find ways to put myself into the conversation. It’s not enough to just recognize this; so, I am challenging myself to get more outside my comfort zone to make change. I will let you know what I come up with.
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Just 3 Things No. 8 (White Privilege Edition)

6/6/2020

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I’m not talking about refrigerator organization, cookie recipes, or kids activities today. Those things are fun to talk about and easy to talk about. Today I hope you will keep reading even though I am talking about my white privilege. I posted the following to my Facebook page last weekend. And I think it is important to hold myself accountable by re-sharing and delivering on the action items presented. I am trying to start a dialogue with myself (and you) from the perspective of white privilege simply because as many have said over the last few weeks, though I will never understand how it feels to be Black, I would like to stand with Black Americans in the pursuit of anti-racism.
​Uncomfortable doesn't begin to describe how I feel about difficult conversations. I like to think things through. I like to have a script. I like to have a plan for how I will respond to anything that comes my way. And for so much of my life I do have the ability to make such plans. That's my white privilege.

I've always had time, resources, and people on my side. I've been given breaks, second chances, third chances, and the benefit of the doubt. Very few things in my life have come down to a split second decision or only having a split second to defend myself. That's my white privilege.

I've comfortably sat and read many articles these last few days and I've really thought about what my role is in the movement for justice. That's my white privilege.

So this week, I hope you will join me in Just 3 Things:

1. Find an article that makes you uncomfortable to read, figure out why it brings up insecurities, and write down a resolution to address those issues. Really write it down and really resolve to improve.
2. Donate $1 or more to an organization that is actively working to help people who do not benefit from white privilege.
3. Purchase a book that addresses racial injustice, written by a person who does not benefit from white privilege for your kids and/or a kid you know.

I will share what I come up with and hope you will do the same. Accountability is what we need to show up to every day with the intent to respect every person we meet and this is where I am ready to start. 

Here's What I Came Up With

1. Find an article that makes you uncomfortable to read, figure out why it brings up insecurities, and write down a resolution to address those issues. Really write it down and really resolve to improve.
I’ve buried myself in articles this week and learned so much. I do want to find a role in improving the situation — that situation being the unrelenting racism Black people endure in America. It is important to isolate that this is the issue at hand. I learned this idea from one particular article that made me uncomfortable: "Why We Need to Stop Saying ‘People of Color’ When We Mean ‘Black People’" published on Medium. The author, Joshua Adams, writes: 
When I taught a journalism class at DePaul University, two of my students wrote in a media critique assignment that we should use “African American” because the term “Black” has negative connotations — despite the fact I, their instructor, had referred to myself as “Black” multiple times in class. When it came to writing about police brutality, a couple of students at Salem State used “people of color” (two students actually used the term “colored people”) even though local and national discussions on police brutality almost always involve Black victims.
I can see myself posing this argument, thinking that I am being kinder or gentler in my careful use of language. The reality is that I am uncomfortable distinguishing myself from multiple marginalized groups when I know I have so much privilege just by being born White. Adams continues:
It seems like every week we see a new video of people calling the police on Black people for merely existing in public. Every few weeks, there’s another story of a police officer shooting an unarmed Black person because they “feared for their life.” Yes, other groups face systemic oppression, but while using “POC” in these contexts isn’t inaccurate, it feels misleading. A “People of Color Lives Matter” movement would be useful, but we can understand why “Black Lives Matter” has a more specific resonance. ​
This article was posted in 2018. Let me say that again, this article was posted in 2018.

My resolution is threefold:
  1. Voice my intolerance for racist comments made around me and my children. Recognize that there is no such thing as a passive or uncharged racist comment.
  2. Actively seek out Black-owned businesses to support.
  3. Introduce anti-racism to my children in as many aspects of play as possible. Focus on finding kind ways to celebrate differences in appearance and experience, specifically regarding the Black community.

Other articles that helped me form my resolution include:
What Black Lives Matter Means (and Why It's Problematic to Say "All Lives Matter"
Performative Allyship Is Deadly (Here’s What to Do Instead)
Save the Tears: White Woman's Guide
What Is Toxic White Feminism? - When Feminism Is White Supremacy
10 common phrases that are actually racist AF.
My White Friend Asked Me on Facebook to Explain White Privilege. I Decided to Be Honest
PSA: Black People Do Not Go To College For Free
Becoming a Parent in the Age of Black Lives Matter
3 Things Amy Cooper Did In Central Park to Damage Her Reputation and Career

2. Donate $1 or more to an organization that is actively working to help people who do not benefit from white privilege.
Our family donated to CAMPAIGN ZERO (WeTheProtesters Inc.). This organization provided the most eye-opening information to me about police brutality. Its resources helped me understand the rationales for police defunding and demilitarization. These are two ideas that make my ego wildly uncomfortable — My very privileged, white self, (without any history of negatively biased policing) thinks “shouldn’t we be adding funding to police administrations and making sure they have the supplies required to maintain safety.” I really need to be viewing these issues through the lens of vulnerable communities, namely, the Black community. Campaign Zero's #8CantWait project has already made impacts in major US cities and provides a model for continued decreases on deaths caused by police officers.

3. Purchase a book that addresses racial injustice, written by a person who does not benefit from white privilege for your kids and/or a kid you know.
Max and the Tag-Along Moon
Let the Children March
Let's Talk About Race
We reviewed Luke’s library and recognized a definite need for diversity, so we started with Max and the Tag-Along Moon by Floyd Cooper. It’s certainly not a book regarding racial injustice, but Luke has requested it nightly. We look forward to ordering other Floyd Cooper titles from our local bookshop. There are several books that are coming back into print to meet demand, which shows that people are looking to educate themselves and support Black writers. We are awaiting copies of Let the Children March by Monica Clark-Robinson and Let’s Talk About Race by Julius Lester.

I urge you to take these Just 3 Things action items to heart and share your resolutions publicly. I also encourage you to set monthly reminders in your calendar to revisit your resolutions and make sure you are actively acknowledging your privilege and continuing to take anti-racist actions in your everyday life.

There is so much more work for me to do in coming to terms with my non-understanding of the issue at hand. These are some of the resources I have been engaging or plan to explore:

Black-Owned Businesses to Support

25 Black-Owned Brands for Babies, Kids, and Parents
125 Black-Owned Businesses to Support Right Now
Post 21 Shop

Resources (parent-focused):

So you want to talk about race by Ijeoma Oluo
Raising White Kids, Bringing Up Children in a Racially Unjust America by Jennifer Harvey
CNN Sesame Street Race Town Hall
Haliet Thomas’ “What to Say When You Don’t Know What to Say”
theconciouskid
The Conscious Kid (Patreon paid resources)
Black Baby Books

Instagram: Beautiful things to look at created by Black Americans

Roma Osowo
Nikkolas Smith
Christian Robinson
​Christian Robinson’s theartoffun
Roma Osowo
HarperIman Dolls
Nikkolas Smith
TinyHouseCalls
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Just 3 Things No. 7 (Still Quarantine Edition)

5/31/2020

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We are definitely starting to crack around here. The terrible twos have taken full effect (hopefully this is what we should consider full effect). If things are getting crackly in your world, maybe these three things can help.
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1. Bake up a Batch of 4 Ingredient Cookies
Similar to the 1 Bowl Recipe I recommended last time, I highly recommend referencing this recipe from 2013. We’ve starting adding a few heaping tablespoonfuls of creamy peanut butter. And we have also tried subbing in peanuts for the walnuts and adding crushed pretzel pieces. The sky’s the limit with these cookies. 
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​2. Play with a Birdseed Sensory Bin 
If you don’t have a little person in your household, move on. If you do have any little people, you’re more than likely currently bombarded with ads for water tables and subscription boxes for crafts and science projects. I’m here to advocate for a reusable sensory bin. We are using birdseed because it is dry, sweepable, and safe to leave on the ground outside. We’ve thrown in some sand toys, pine cones (from our Christmas tree decorations), plastic eggs (from our play kitchen), and empty food containers. We play with it outside and when we’re done, we put a lid on the container until our next session. Done and done!
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3. Fix a Small Problem in Your House
This is not meant to be condescending, it’s meant to be a gentle reminder that we walk past inefficiencies all day that we can easily address. I’ve been making a list which is a bit confronting, but it also feels great when I fix even just one. My favorite so far has been moving my dry baking ingredients into airtight storage containers. These are the ones I used.

The world is really ragging on 2020, but we are coming to the halfway mark, so let’s see if we can turn this thing around — day by day. Who’s with me!? It's not the year's responsibility to make sure we are taking care to respect ourselves and every person we encounter, it is our own responsibility. As you scroll through your feeds today, watch the news, explain challenging issues to your kiddos, or actively participate in protest for change, consider how your words and actions will impact the rest of 2020 and forever to follow.
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Just 3 Things No. 6 (Quarantine Edition)

4/28/2020

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#overit
#somuchtv
Last time I wrote I didn’t realize how long we’d be staying in or how limited our outdoor activities would be — our local parks and walking trails are closed. And I was only mothering one little person — we added another at the end of March! Mixing quarantine and postpartum hormones is really not recommended (just ask my husband). I haven’t been coping super well and I’m really leaning into my go-to shutdown tactic for dealing with my rollercoaster-ing emotions. My word of the year for 2020 is FLEX and boy oh boy am I feeling the need to be flexible. Nothing exacerbates a two-year-old's disinterest in sleeping through the night on his own like not getting enough physical activity during the day coupled with jealousy toward a newborn. Just writing this sentence forces me to repeat FLEX, FLEX, FLEX in my head.

I have been telling myself that we will look back on this time with so many different feelings and I do want to remember my headspace as well as the few good practices that are keeping me going. So my Just 3 Things this month may seem odd, but hopefully they help me recall this time with some semblance of fondness and give you some things to try for yourself.

  1. Complete a Passive Cleaning Activity - Few things feel better than getting something done/clean without any effort. So, if you have a washing machine or dishwasher, throw a cup of vinegar in and run a cleaning/rinse cycle to freshen up your appliance. I just did this to our washing machine and it eliminated a lurking funky smell. Big win for the day!
  2. Bake a 1-Bowl Recipe - Instagram is loaded up with stories about intensive baking operations (I’m looking at you sourdough-starting friends, jk, just jealous). My brain and kitchen capacities are not there, but my kiddo throws a daily tantrum about wanting something to go into the KitchenAid. “Mix, mix, MIX” is the refrain, so much so that yesterday we made whipped potatoes for dinner in the mixer just to stop the madness. If you want to lower the stakes and skill levels, I recommend these Banana Chocolate Chip Cupcakes (ahem) Muffins and Peanut Butter Bread (topped with jelly or chocolate syrup).
  3. Find Easy Ways to Generate Accountability - I’ve adjusted our menu whiteboard (mentioned in Just 3 Things No. 5) to include things we need to get done too. This really plays into my love of checking things off a list and adds the perk that this list lives in front of my face all day! Plus, I’ve made a Quarantine 2020 photo album in Google Photos. I’m just sliding photos into it that capture what is actually happening in our house right now — imagine lots of pictures of Luke watching crazy amounts of tv in funny sitting positions.
#gettingaccountable
Just 3 More (Musical) Things
  1. If you have kids, can we please try to replace Baby Shark with this jam for kitchen dancing?!
  2. Here are some weird personal recommendations from my Labor + Delivery playlist, which has become my daily pandemic soundtrack.
  3. On Saturday nights our family listens to Big Town Blues on Pittsburgh’s WYEP (we use the TuneIn skill on Alexa). Again a bit weird, but it takes the decision making out of what we are going to enjoy for the evening. And anything that eliminates a decision is a positive in my book. 
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Why Not Get Your Life in Order During this Pandemic? No Pressure!

3/20/2020

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NOTE: This is not a sponsored post and all pricing shown is accurate as of March 2020.

Not to get too down on everyone right now with the uneasiness of our world’s current pandemic, but let’s talk emergency and end of life organization. Yep, I’m serious — if not now, when? If you have extra time at home over the next few weeks, this may be a good time to tackle getting yourself or your family’s information organized. 

Part of my 19 for 2019 was to get our wills completed and to organize our personal information in the event of an emergency. We want our families to know our desired plans and have the resources to take care of our kids [and our stuff] without having to figure everything out for themselves. This includes making sure that our kids’ designated guardians and the executor of our wills have easy access to our housing, auto, financial, and insurance information digitally, as well as know where to find physical copies of documents in our home. We call our collective our "ICE Instructions" for “In Case of Emergency Instructions”.

This post will start to draw a map of how to get yourself organized and explain the tools I use to maintain records for our family. Of course, my tools do not make for a one size fits all solution and it is important that your family is on board with your organizational plan.

Part of my inspiration for buckling down and pulling this post together was hearing Episode 185 of Happier with Gretchen Rubin (and again in 188). They talk about making a Facts of Life book with all important documents, in their case for their aging parents. I’m not into having a physical book because it seems it would be hard to maintain and limiting for those who may need access. So, we went digital and decided to use LastPass as our main home for information, teamed up with Google One and Evernote. I mentioned LastPass and Evernote in Just 3 Things No. 2 last year and really recommend them for anyone trying to manage passwords and other personal information. NOTE: The post is NOT sponsored and includes my opinions regarding working with LastPass and Evernote for the last several years.

What is LastPass?
First and foremost, LastPass is a password manager. It can help you to create random passwords and store them for all your apps, websites, and more — meaning you can have different passwords for everything and not have to worry about remembering them. But LastPass can do so much more, like: store credit cards for autofill, manage passport and id information, as well as house notes for personal information (that’s what we are using for our emergency instructions).  
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All of this information can be shared securely to multiple users (like for my husband and me). Plus, you can create a “digital contingency plan” by designating others to have “emergency access" (more about this later).

It does have an annual fee, but I use it daily and feel the cost is certainly justified. 
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What are Evernote and Google One?
Evernote is a digital note taking app and Google One is an online storage engine that works with the G Suite of programs including Documents and Sheets (similar to Microsoft Word and Excel). In all honesty, for the purposes of this discussion, just using Google One (and G Suite) will certainly suffice, but I’ve been a loyal Evernote user for so long that I can’t pry myself away.

Google One is free until you hit a certain document storage threshold (I pay ~$20 per year for my storage) and Evernote is also free for basic use (I pay the discounted annual rate of ~$70 for Premium). 
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How to get started with your ICE Instructions?
  1. Copy and paste the following template into your word processor or use this Google Doc or Evernote template. Start plugging in everything you know to fill in any { }. Don’t sweat it if you don’t have everything!
  2. Try creating your own Account Overview and Vehicle Maintenance Records with the templates provided in the ICE Instructions Template.
  3. Decide where to store digital documents (copies of insurance policies, leases, vehicle registrations, etc.). I recommend Google One. And check out the instructions below for creating sharing links to plug into the template.
  4. Set up LastPass account and begin entering login information for all the accounts listed in your Account Overview. I recommend downloading the app and the browser extensions. And as you use the internet for shopping and everything else in your daily life, LastPass will prompt you to save additional passwords.
  5. Designate Emergency Access Contacts and confirm with your friends and family that they understand how to request LastPass access in the case of an emergency. Scroll down for more info on this.
  6. Mark your calendar for a 6-month-review, particularly to make sure your Account Overview is up to date and links to any new policies have been added to your templates.

If you are comfortable organizing your information digitally, but haven’t decided if you are ready to commit to LastPass, it may be best to create a document with this template and store it securely when you are ready. You can fill out what you know and use anything blank as your checklist for info to gather. Don’t get overwhelmed! Just pull together what you can to start. It is much easier to work from something than nothing! The highlighted areas include Google or Evernote Templates to work from — check out the notes below.

ICE Instructions Template

(Copy and paste this section for each family member)
FULL NAME:
DOB:
SSN:
MOBILE PHONE:
ALLERGIES:
ORGAN DONOR: (Y/N)
HEALTH INSURANCE COMPANY:
HEALTH INSURANCE ID:
HEALTH INSURANCE GROUP #:
INSURED PARTY:
CURRENT MAILING ADDRESS:

HOME PHONE NUMBER:
PHYSICAL DOCUMENTS LOCATION (ie. birth certificates, passports, etc.):

LINKS TO INSURANCE POLICIES:
LIFE INSURANCE {Person 1} Policy #:{} Company: {}
{LINK}
LIFE INSURANCE {Person 2} Policy #:{} Company: {}
{LINK}
DISABILITY INSURANCE {Person 1} Policy #:{} Company: {}
{LINK}
DISABILITY INSURANCE {Person 2} Policy #:{} Company: {}
{LINK}
RENTERS’/HOME INSURANCE Policy #:{} Company: {}
{LINK}
AUTO INSURANCE Policy #:{} Company: {}
{LINK}
UMBRELLA INSURANCE Policy #:{} Company: {}
{LINK}

LINK TO OVERVIEW OF BANKING, OPEN LINES OF CREDIT, AND ONGOING PAYMENT INFORMATION: 
*Click here for template (open and make a copy to use)
LINKS TO CURRENT WILLS:
{Person 1} {Link}
{Person 2} {Link}
LINKS TO CURRENT VEHICLE REGISTRATIONS:
{Year} {Make} {Model} {Link}

LINKS TO VEHICLE MAINTENANCE RECORDS:
**Click here for template 
{Year} {Make} {Model} {Link}
{Year} {Make} {Model} {Link}
LINK TO CURRENT LEASE:
{Link}

*Here’s what you will find in this template... 
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**Here’s what you will find in this template…
This template is based on the table that my Dad used to keep posted in our garage for each of the cars. He did a lot of oil changes at home and would mark the date, mileage, and whether or not the filter was changed. We don’t do oil changes at home, but continue to keep records of all service on both of our family cars. You can also add fees like registration renewals if you want to keep records for projections for future car purchases. 
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How do I create links to my documents using Google One Drive?
  1. Create an account at drive.google.com.
  2. This is what Drive looks like — very similar to any file storage system on your computer. Create a file structure for how you want to organize your documents. If you have a file structure that works for you on your own computer, mirror it! If you are looking for baseline, folders for AUTO, INSURANCE, and FINANCES may be good places to start. 
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     3.  Drag and drop files from your computer into the new folders you’ve created.
     4.  Right click on the document you want to start with and select “Get Shareable Link”. 
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     5.  A window will popup with the sharing settings, make sure to select the default
​          “Anyone with link can view”. Then click “Copy link”.
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     6.  Paste link into the ICE Instructions template accordingly.
How do I get all of this into LastPass?
  1. Once you’ve created a LastPass account, you can navigate to the Notes section from the menu on the left and create a new note with the (+) button on the bottom right.
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     2.  Name the note, select a location for it, and paste your information from your ICE
​          Instructions Template in the main field.
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     3.  Click “Save” to update and close the window.  ​
What about Emergency Access in LastPass?

Emergency Access is set up such that you invite a person or persons in advance to be able to gain access to your LastPass account in the event of an emergency (or death). You designate the contact and the amount of time they have to wait to gain access. For example, our kids’ guardian and will executor both can request access and if I don’t reject it within 3 hours, then they will be able to see everything. You can set access up for immediate use or with a delay of up to 30 days depending upon your situation. 
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Whew, that’s a lot and more serious than my usual posts. So, again, I hope I’m not bringing you down! But, if you are feeling the pull to be productive while stuck at home this weekend, this may be a great time to get things organized. Make it fun:
  • Set up a control center on the dining room table 
  • Clear clutter by throwing away unnecessary physical documents you come across in your organization
  • Connect with your parents or siblings on video chat or screen share to pull extended family information together
Do those things only sound fun to me?

Please stay safe, healthy, and home as much as possible. And thanks to everyone who is working out of the home to stop the spread of COVID-19. I’m looking forward to looking back on this time! 
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